La Lingua

Language
Studying a language, and living it, are two very different experiences. As anyone who has studied abroad can attest, the neat little text book you learned from at school grossly oversimplifies what is actually a large, complex, network of evolving communication.

While American language has been firmly rooted in a mostly homogenous English for the past few centuries, the Italian language, as it is taught in schools today, is relatively new. Though it has existed as a language for many centuries it was only enforced as the "official" language after the unification of Italy, when it was realized that the country's potential was greatly hindered due to the city-states' inability to communicate with each other. At which point they announced that Dante's Florentine-Renaissance Italian would become the basis of the national language. Which was the equivalent of telling everyone in the United Kingdom that they should start speaking in Shakespearean English.

So although Italian may be the national language (and is widely understood for the most part, since it's what they teach in schools), everyone's first language is actually based on speech far older than Italian unification. 

Dialects 
Napolitano, Romano, Bolognese, and Siciliano, are just a few of the languages that are still regularly used today under the guise of "Italian". Many times these languages bare little or no resemblance to the national language, and often have to actually be translated into Italian for public occasions (Such as the Easter Parade of Caltanissetta, where the tourist brochures have explanations written in English, Italian, and Sicilian. The Sicilian looks nothing like Italian, and I don't have a clue how to pronounce any of it... much to the entertainment of AmoreMio).

And it doesn't stop there, even within Sicily there are further distinctions between regional dialects. "Non ce la so" for example is strictly Caltanissetta Sicilian (from context I've deduced it means something along the lines of "I don't know how"), and doesn't exist beyond a one hour radius of the city. 

Embarrassing Moments
None of this is at all helpful when you are trying to master a second language. Anyone learning a new language is used to making mistakes, but add in an uncountable variety of dialects, and the number of mistakes you make increases exponentially.

Sign Language
Even the ability to express yourself in multiple dialects is not enough for Italians though, which is why they also use an array of gestures to embellish their conversations. Even if you speak and understand Italian perfectly, these skills won't be much help if your conversation partner chooses to answer you with his hands rather than with his voice, employing sign language that can mean anything from "abundance" and "fear" to "let's go" and "wtf".

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