The Language of the Elderly

The other day, AmoreMio and I went to visit the Nonna Michela (his mother's mother). When we got there though, we found that the Nonna already had company; the mother of the husband of her daughter (which would be AmoreMio's aunt's mother-in-law). Confused yet? I know the feeling.

We sat down with them to chat for a bit, and a couple things came to my attention.





First, even though the two women have known each other for years, neither of them use the informal "Tu". Instead of asking "How are you?", they use the formal "Lei" and ask "How is she?".

The formal is used with strangers, the elderly, and anyone who holds a high social position (your boss, a priest, etc. I have struggled to remember to use it every time I meet someone new, and it struck me as odd that two old friends, whose children had married each other, would still keep their conversation strictly in the formal conjugation. AmoreMio explained later though, that it was merely a way to show each other respect.

The second memorable part of the afternoon occurred as the subject turned towards language and dialects. When relatives are first introduced to me the differences between languages is bound to be part of the conversation. They always ask if I understand Italian alright and how long I've been studying it.

I usually tell them that Italian isn't really a problem anymore, it's the dialects that usually overwhelm me. Such as some of the more passionate Sicilian debates that occur at the family dinner table. Before I could expound on my difficulties though, the Nonna's friend interrupted me with these consolatory words:

"No, don't worry! Here no one speaks Sicilian anymore anyway."

In Italian this would be: "No, tranquilla! Qui nessuno parla piu' in siciliano ormai."

But what she said was this: Noo, tranquilla! Cca nuddu parla cchiu u sicilianu ormai...

Which is Sicilian. Very strong Sicilian. With such a strong accent that I hadn't even understood what she'd said. But AmoreMio was simply nodding politely, a badly suppressed smirk on his face, so I followed his example and said nothing. It was only later in the car that he translated it for me between bursts of laughter.

The truth of that matter is that you will find very few elderly in Sicily who speak Italian at all. To this day I need help understanding the grandmothers, because they grew up in a world in which "Italian" still didn't exist, just the local dialect into which they were born.

So if you find yourself lost in Sicily and only an Italian phrase book to help you, ask for directions from someone young looking. The kindly old lady passing by may be more friendly, but odds are you won't understand a word of what she says.